Annecy > Italy [night off in Fidenza]

Day 68 - 276 miles (445 km ) travelled today
Total Distance Travelled = 17,758 miles (28,526km)(TDT)

Hi all,

We have a day off in Fidenza. Up the road from Bologna. We'll be there in a couple of days. But that's after Rome.

Well, HQ has done a fine job in finding us a place to stay. It's a guest house.
Above an irish bar. You've surpassed yourself HQ.

Soon after checking in we head down to the bar for drinks. Guinness of course.
Tastes good enough.

Tonight we are invited to attend a gig in the town. Fedorico, our promoter for Bologna will be there. So thats where we end up for the evening. Watching a couple of punk bands. play table footy with the locals. Drink. Play Battleships, Connect 4. Drink.

It gets late and some of us go back to the hotel to get our heads down. While Paul and Mathew (manager type) stays and gets on the cards.

Mathew is holding a hand and is saying to Paul. "I'll win if I can get an 8 of clubs".

Then this guy puts down... an 8 of clubs. Excellent they say. But now all he needs is a king of spades. "I could really do with the king of spades", Math says.

Yep, the guy puts down a king of spades! Game over.

More posts to follow. Got a bit of catching up to do.

Lorra lorra luv from all of us. xxx Jus, And, Paul, Stu and Jonny

ANNECY with Little Rabbits

Day 67 - In Annecy, no travelling today
Total Distance Travelled = 17,482 miles (28,081km)(TDT)
Message from Andy the Roman

Well well! Here I am, actually in ROME, Italy, writing this, so you will see we are still trying to catch up with this diary. Some fun things have happened.
Of course. Just trying to find a funny way to tell them without boring myself.

At this gig on Thursday in ANNECY in France we were joined by our special friends from Nantes, The Little Rabbits. We've been wondering when we were gonna play with them on this tour. When suddenly, hey ho, There they are...
It's tres bon to see them! They're all smiley smiley.

The venue is called the Brise Glace. It's a smart place. And typically they have a top class sound system. The sound check is a breeze.

The show goes really well. We really love these gigs in France. It's a big big shame we couldn't get our gig agent to pull his finger out and set us up with a proper tour of France, mistakes have been made but there will be lots of gigs in France in 2005, especially if you audiences are going to be like the one here, you can bet on that.

Anyway after the show we pile into the Rabbits dressing room. Rather to polish off all their beer first. They're such a great bunch of chaps. It's a shame their english is so bad.
No really I'm only kidding. We should properly be talking better French by now. And they know it. I always feel very guilty about. Booo hoo hoo :-(

Listen now, there'll be more stories to follow. I'm in a bit of a rush. As I said, I'm writing this in Rome. And there's a big beautiful city outside begging us out for some M.A.S.S. investigation.

I'll be back for sure.
lotsa luv Andy xx

PARIS (for a knees up) With Stu and Andy

Day 64 - 336 miles (541 km ) travelled today
Total Distance Travelled = 17,146 miles (27,540km)(TDT)
A message from guitarist Andy and drummer Stuart

Hey hey! How are ya?

Me and Stuart have been sent on a mission... There are a few days off, some people pop home for a cup of tea, we get to go to PARIS, the orders read. Infiltrate the clubs and bars. See what goes on there. Find out who's in charge? Can they be bribed?

We arrive in Paris at 6. Go straight for the hotel. Turn on the TV. See if it has any porn. Check out if there's a mini bar. No x2.

I give our friend Louis a call. And he turns up at the hotel after work with a box of beers. He's says he's a bit tired and probably won't stay out for long. But he ends up staying with us for the rest of the night. What a soldier.

It's the same hotel that Stuart got caught in the lift for 2 hours at the start of the tour. This time we use it and you can see the scratch marks on the inside that Stu made last time he was here. Gorey.

This time in Paris we get to venture further west and east in our search for a venue to hold an evenings M.A.S.S. entertainment for an unsuspecting parisian audience.

Stuarts gonna catch up with me later as he's off to meet his special french girl at the train station. So I head off with Louis who knows the way.

Bar Three is where we go first. It's in the west of paris near St germain. It's the Paris equivelant of London's west end. Many places here to take a loved one. Buy exclusive perfume for those you hold dear. We walk past a Paul & Joe clothes shop. Or is it Pete? Can't remember. Anyway they've got sharp suits in the windows there. Very pricey. Good quality. Mmmm. No I can't, christmas is coming.

Back to the bar. Bar Three. It's a basement club. It used to store wine for the restaurant upstairs. Low arches all over the place with Stuarts name written on every one. Very much a 'mind your head' territory.

The room is really quiet. Only acoustic music can fit into a place like this. So quite you can hear every bit of spit between each lyric. Not the kind of place for our 'you sound like a flight of bombers' type band. But maybe the acoustic 'you sound like a flight of lawnmowers' type setup might work here.

After getting all the details from the promoter. We sit down and enjoy a few drinks. I'm happy. I just found out they do long island iced tea's here. And I've got one in front of me. I'm purring.

We are then joined by an American couple with guitars. They tell us they've been on the road for 7 months à##@^\`-§§§ 9!

Don't we suddenly feel a bit silly?!!

Quick! Lets get out of here!! Our cover has been blown!! x Andy

We're gonna BERN

Day 61 - 365 miles (587 km ) travelled today
Total Distance Travelled = 16,395 miles (26,331km)(TDT)

Mesage from guitarist Andy.
My god! Look at that milage. Makes me feel a bit giddy. Where's the bucket?

BERN is a pretty place. But it's getting bloody cold here. My leather jacket has fallen apart. All the stitching has dropped out. And my new jeans keep falling down. Getting a nasty chill down my crack!

During the day we hang out at Fabio, our promotors place. It's huge. Up on the 16th floor. He has the floor all to himself. It was with him and his mates that we met up with at the october fest and drank 7 or 8 litres of beer. The last half litre I poured over my head!

It all seems so long ago. But then I suppose it was a long time ago. Where is that bucket?

The show turns out a groovy one Fabio does it once or twice a year and it's called Rockfightnight. We get a great reaction. And are looking forward to sinking a few units. But by the time we unwind and venture out front, most of the crowd has disappeared. Nevermind. Bar service becomes a lot quicker.

So, usual end to a night. Drunken singing in the van while off to the hotel. My voice starts to go again. So I polish off another bottle of booze and hit the sack.

More days to follow... Head up my lovelies. x Andy

Switzerland? Germany? AUSTRIA?

Day 53 - 317 miles (510km ) travelled today
Total Distance Travelled = 14,325 miles (23,000km)(TDT)
Another despatch by guitarist Andy

A day off in Lausanne.
Well actually it’s not a day off. We have to move out and drive to travel some many miles toward Tulln in Austria for the next show.
I can’t even be bothered to ask how far it is, someone will fill in the details and I’ll find out not so soon enough. Did we find an internet café before we leave? No, this comes to you scribbled on the back of a pack of Marlboro Lights....
Now, we have a hotel halfway there.
We leave at 3pm but don’t manage to get there until 10pm.
I don’t know where we are. Only that we’re up a mountain somewhere amongst some ski resorts.
This time we are given a warm welcome by the guy at the desk.He shows us to our rooms and bids us a comfortable nights sleep.
And before long that’s what we’re having. Zzzzzzz seven jugs please zzzzzzzzz

LAUSANNE

Day 52 - 593 miles (954km ) travelled overnight and today...phew!
Total Distance Travelled = 14,008 miles (22,490km)(TDT)
A despatch from guitarist Andy

Another huge drive to do today to get to Switzerland for the next show in LAUSANNE.
We had to leave straight after the show last night.
Drive to a motorway hotel approaching a mere 300km up the road. Through a snow !:!:!:!: storm.
And we get there at 5am.

After rising at 10am we have breakfast and then leave at 11.
700km ahead to cover.
Hours pass....

We listen to CDs. We’ve gone through our collection about 5 times now and know all the lyrics, drum fills, guitar stabs and what song comes next on every track.
We pass time writing the diary. Dream of finding a shower and a comfort spot in the van.
Bored bored bored!! It can be sooo tedious sitting in this effin van! We haven’t been able to get near an internet café to update the diary for almost a week and it’s getting really frustrating because we want you to give you this stuff as it happens.. or if nothing is happening, if you know what I mean.

More hours pass.

Finally we arrive in Lausanne at the venue Bleu Lézard at 8pm.
We have to load in and set up straight away. Soundcheck. Then go for dinner as we’re all starving.
As soon as we’re finished we are heading back to the venue to do the show.

A few more people turn out for this one. It’s a good gig. But I can’t get into it as much as the others because it’s such a small stage and I’m constantly trying to avoid getting knocked over the head with Paul’s bass.
Still, the audience is warm and friendly. And thanks go to those who helped us and put the gig on. We hang around ‘til the end of the night before we pack the van. Up another flight of stairs.

While just having packed the van, we hang around chatting outside. Justine was sorting through her 3 huge bags of clothes when some passers by enquired as to what she was doing. “Oh it’s a jumble sale! I’m just selling of some of my clothes”.
Then a couple of girls walk out of the club and we say goodnight. They then walk 50 yards down the road and stop. Turn around. And start waving at us. We wave back. They start blowing kisses. Then we start blowing kisses. They blow bigger kisses. And we do the same.

I run off and hide behind a big plant pot. As do the others. And so do the girls.

And when we pop our heads up they would pop down and hide and giggle. This went on for a couple of minutes. It was so funny. We felt like little kids again.
But we had to go. So we waved goodbye and jumped into the van.
That gave us a big smile. It was so sweet.

Eventually we find the hotel/hostel. It’s a nice place really. But the guy behind the desk is such a wanker. I’m just too tired to face such attitude and go off to bed. Night night. zzzzzzzz

Harlots in HAARLEM

Day 49 - 184 miles (296 km ) travelled 2day
Total Distance Travelled = 12,971 miles (20,822km)(TDT)

What's 2day? Sunday? It really is Groundhog Day - who planned this tour?
Yesterday we went from the top of Holland down to Ostend in Belgium, where we tearfully waved off ferries going back to Ramsgate in the UK, now, we are back on the same road and having to navigate the Antwerp ring road backwards as Bertha, the M.A.S.S. bus trickles along back from Belgium to Holland. Our soundtrack to this enterprise turns out to be long lost album by The Zombies which the manager, has found in the bottom of his briefcase. The Zombies, most famously known for 'She's Not There' made a kind of UK Pet Sounds called Oracle and Odessey and it turns out to be brilliant driving music, so much so that everyone is interested in hearing it twice... a kind of soundtrack to our own odessey.

We are thinking will HAARLEM be rocking on a Sunday? Well, you might be as surprised as us to find that it was... kind of. We have been booked to play a fantastic venue called Patronaat a kind of arts venue and it's kind of spooky to get in the venue to find that the first thing we see is a poster, advertising The Zombies, who have apparently reformed in some kind of original line-up and they too are appearing here in a week or two...
The event is a kind of mini-festival called Club Funday and has a whole load of different bands and acts. There is also a really strong John Peel vibe about tonight, shared between us three bands on the main stage;
this was the first time any of us had seen Tribute To Nothing and if there's any justice in the world, everyone would be listening to them or at least catching them live show because they really do give the performance 110% commitment. There are a few brothers in TTN and they gave a bit of a dedication to John and afterwards explained that they did their first JP session when one of them was 13!
Of course, M.A.S.S. have our own debt to John Peel, and finally, the band on last were The Bloody Hollies from Buffallo in the US, who probably wouldn't have even come over to Europe if JP hadn't recently offered them a session, probably one of the last to be booked by John himself, they too offer a dedication and the whole show is kind of dedicated to the big man, which is great.

Today, as U may be aware, is day 49 of our Odessey and the little things are starting to become important, like where we lay our heads and the fact that most of the tour so far has been training for the journey we must make on Tuesday/Wednesday to make the 1,000 kilometer trek between Bremen and Lausanne.
So 2night our friends.... pillows and sleep become important. Our team is currently down to a slim six people at the moment (where the bloody hell are you Skinnie?) but under interrogation the person in charge of providing us with accomodation is only brandishing three (pitifully downed) pillows and M.A.S.S. are living up to their label of "the band without sleeping bags". In the end we find a late room for three of us in a hotel and after a few bouts of Sumo and tossing of coins we decide who will go where, the three bad fighters/ unlucky ones follow the pillows and end up at the top of some high rise flats adjacent to an oil refinery somewhere on the outskirts of Holland. We end up, one of us in a poncho and mexican hat on a sofa in the front room, while the other two hit a bed and matress in the spare room. To add to the endurance challenge as the night wears on, mysteriously, the lounge turns into a furnace and the spare room a fridge... causing a few grumbles as the others are picked up from the cocktail bar near the reception of their luxury hotel... sometimes rock and roll life just ain't fair.

AMSTERDAM and Dem god damn Hackensaw Boys!!

Day 45 - 0 miles travelled 2day
Total Distance Travelled = 12,393 miles (19,892km)(TDT)
A post from guitarist Andy:

Having arrived in AMSTERDAM the evening before. And gone to bed early. We find ourselves waking up refreshed and in good humour for the day ahead. That only lasts until some of us find a coffee shop. But as we have a show to do tonight, we won’t be making a habit of this.
We get to the venue at 5pm. Wait around for a bit before loading in. Justine and Stuart have popped off to meet up with The Killers who are also playing in Amsterdam 2night.
The show tonight will be live on air for Club 3 Voor 12 on national Dutch radio in front of a studio audience.
Justine gets to do a posh radio interview just before we play live.
As it’s a tight schedule we are to play just 5 songs. After a bit of discussion we opt to give the new songs a proper airing after opening with TESTIFY we play MISS SPENT OPPORTUNITY, EVERY ROTTEN QUESTION, SLIPPING THROUGH THE CRACKS (OUT OF TIME?) and WAKE UP. Good choices, the new stuff sounds great. Hoping to get back into the studio when we return home (wherever that is.) and do some more.
The show goes down well with everyone. The promoter for haarlem is here. And so is our man from the record company. Both enjoyed the show. Mmm nice.

Next up on the show it’s dem The Hackensaw Boys with their shit hot blue grass toe tappin’ hollering beauties. We’ve never been present to hear any of this stuff live before. So it’s a humdinger of a show and a bit of an ear tickler to boot.
We chat with them after the show. Mainly to Jesse the double bass player and Jimmy the banjo man.
They’re funny guys.
They tell us there used to be 12 of them in the band. But due to a few disputes they’re now down to 6!
One guy leaves the band while they’re in the middle of nowhere at the side of the road. He just gets up and says he’s had enough of it. Says he’s got bills to pay. And walks off to buy a bus ticket home with no money.
Jimmy and Jesse are such nice guys.
Jimmy’s trying to talk more English style than normally and gets himself in a twist. “Hell” he says, “I’m jus tryin’ to tawk proper to y’all!” It’s funny hearing him say this in his deep Virginian accent.
They’ve made a big impression on us as the night ends. We swap CDs and email addresses. It would be a shame if we never meet these guys again. “I’m sure well see you in the US soon” Jimmy says. I hope so too.
Book that ticket now HQ!

Back 2 Bertha and on2 AMSTERDAM

Day 44 - 624 miles (1,004km) travelled 2day with short pitstop
Total Distance Travelled = 12,393 miles (19,892km)(TDT)

Wake up and time to get off the ferry. We land in DENMARK and as we don't have any Denmark currency (R they in/out EU?) whatever, we don't have Danish Krona so we can't pay for Danish bacon and have to race throught the country at top speed.
We bomb down boring Denmark, guided by our own speaking navigation device to the liason point near Hamburg where we will have to change vans again and great our faithful Bertha, hopefully with a steering wheel that moves the wheels in the direction you might hint you want to go.
Amazingly, it all goes swimmingly well. It is a painless, quick pit stop and then we get going at a pace just pushing Bertha that little bit harder, because she has had a rest and because people can't quite wait for what a night off in Amsterdam might have to offer, horticulturelly, biologically and culturely... the lot ... come on Bertha! We have a booking @ Hotel Titus!

Big in Porsgrunn and on to Denmark

Day 43 - 82 miles (132km) [+ 32 xtra miles (52km) to get Skinnie's case] travelled 2day
Total Distance Travelled = 11,769 miles (18,888km)(TDT)

Woke up in OSLO, time to swap countries (again).

Got in the van.
The manager wanted to stop off at the Norwegian resistance museum in Oslo harbour and bought a book and DVD, not the kind of DVD we usually like to play in the van though.

Drove. Great soundtrack, we played with the BRONCO BUSTERS last night and we swapped CDs, their album rocks especially on Norwegian roads.

To Porsgrunn. To pick up Skinnies' silver case the shite.
Job done and thanks to Paul for meeting us. He is there with this week's copy of the local paper and there we are, front page.. FULL PAGE photo on the cover of the arts supplement and then two page spread on how our M.A.S.S. gig was one of the biggest / best things there in years.. wow.

Now drive to Larvik to catch the ferry. Which will take us over night to some port or something in Denmark. Arriving in Denmark at 7am tomorrow, Danish time, time for a pastry.
But in Larvik we have a couple of hours to nail before we board.
And we stroll upon this neat little pub hidden just of the main road. Well I think it's a main road but until now this is all i've seen of this town. But it looks big enough to call it a main road... Blar ba ba.
The place is owned by a guy who originally comes from Sunderland called Stevie. Big thanks
goes out to this guy. He dishes out some free shots for us bless his heart. And we give him a CD. He puts a track on. He is convinced our manager is Justines' dad. Bless his heart. And puts the stones on. For Jus's dad. Another round of shots and the manager is grumbling about how old he looks.

Stevie tells us of this guy a regular that comes in, that is the spitting image of Elton John. Then a little while later in shuffles this old geezer and plonks himself at the end of the bar. A second later Stuart and Justine were pissing them selves laughing. This guy could'nt have looked anymore like Elton if he sat down and played piano with big fuck off glasses with wings on.
Then this guy pulls a face like he's saying "this happens all the time, fuck off please".Bless his heart. Sorry.

Off to the ferry now.
Boarding takes a while. And we think they've forgotten about us but it has to be said we have had Stevies beers and shots and if we complain anymore to these stocky sea-farin' fellas we could see ourselves red-carded.

We have cabins on this cruise. There's a cabaret. Dancing girls. Mmm. The band had seen better ferries. Bass player, a bit over weight and wore a shirt too far, like a bridge too far the old film about a war and it had all these greats in. It's late alright. I'm trying to add a bit of colour into the diary. I should have finished this by now and got onto writing another day but I feel I shouldn't skip aimless stories like this one.... Dancing girls were good though. But not my type.

It's all shite really. So before long we sneak off to bed.
To be continued.